Sweet Adeline...

I love Phish. I hadn't listened to them in a while and after 15 minutes into "David Bowie," I am hooked again. They remain the best band ever. hands down. The Beatles are up there too.

Okay, I realized something yesterday after my program. Throughout our four year journey into undergraduate academic trancendence, we are just climbing up a mountain - and at the top of the mountain is a great wall. Once you graduate, you have reached the wall, but have yet to scale it. This Cultural Analysis program is pretty much just us flinging ourselves at the wall consistently, bruising our shoulders and frustrating our minds. We seem to keep trying to find a way to scale it, theorize the right way to get over the wall, but every time we try, it fortifies itself and becomes that much more impenetrable. Then, once we graduate and move onto PhD work, we don't climb over the wall, we just become the wall.

So here I am, drowning in essays, trying to become a small brick on a wall that no one has ever climbed over. It makes me feel like I may be that missing piece that meets the Big O, or that the big O is doomed to never finding that missing piece, because it never existed in the first place.

I'm off to read. love you.